Peacocking is the act of presenting oneself in a very flattering light, either online or in person, and this can be done by dressing in a very flashy and eye-catching way, or just acting in a way that gets a lot of people's attention (ideally the people this person is attracted to). This definition can seem pretty obvious, if only because everyone agrees that this happens everyday to some degree. People aren't doing this just to impressive someone in the sex and dating sense, but in every aspect of their lives. You do this at work, at the gym, and even the way you might present yourself to friends and strangers online in a message board or chat room.

Not surprisingly, this term comes straight from the peacock itself, who uses its bright a beautiful feathers as a way to attract a mate. And even though it is an example straight from the animal kingdom, it can certainly be found in digital world as well. Certainly on dating sites and hookup apps, the photos and bios of people are them looking their absolute best (either wearing fancy clothes, or not much clothes at all) and describing themselves in the best possible way. But it's also seen on other social media sites, since everyone is trying to show the world their best version of themselves, to friends, family, or strangers.

For the most part, of course not. On some level, all of us are 'peacocking' at one point or another during the day. While the term here is typically used for sex and dating, we are always trying to put our best foot forward no matter what we're doing, whether hanging out with friends or going to work. Even if you're really relaxed and taking it easy, you'd still like to make a good impression with people who are close to you.

When it comes to dating - especially the first date - or going out to a bar or club with the direct or indirect purpose of meeting new people, everyone peacocks. Men and women both put a lot more effort into making themselves look great and attractive in these instances, and no one thinks this is wrong, or that they are 'lying' to others by presenting a false impression of themselves or anything else.

Problems only arise when the gap between who you are pretending to be and who actually are grows so large that you're almost not recognizable when you 'take your feathers off'. If someone is interested in flashy, charming version of you they met at the bar, it better be close to your actual personality, because otherwise this person will stop being interested in you if the person you are around your home is completely different.

You only get one chance on a first impression, and unfortunately a lot of conclusions are made about you before you even open your mouth. It's your physical features, the clothes you're wearing, and your body language, in that order. And peacocking means you're trying your hardest at all three of these things. If your first impression is underwhelming, then you will be spending a lot of time fighting an uphill battle to correct it, to change everyone's mind and offer them a better version of yourself.

Going back to nature, since this is where the term is from, many birds seeking mates have only one chance to present their worth (either through extravagant feathers or dancing), so they prepare effectively. Plenty of grooming, plenty of practicing, and there are nature documentaries showing some of them cleaning up a space near their nest so they can show their prospective mates how clean they are.

And we do all these same things when it comes to meeting someone for the first time. You might not know where a first date will end up, so in addition to making sure you're dressed well and have enough breath mints, you might even clean your place up a bit just to make sure even your home will impress the person on first glance in case they come back here.

The assumption that 'nice guys finish last' is becoming less and less true as time goes on. Nowadays, peacocking doesn't just involve in looking a certain way, but acting a certain way. And not in a sort of 'swaggering jerk that attacks or belittles their potential rivals' fashion, but something more in line with actually being kind and generous, as that is seen by potential partners as a much better quality to have.

It seems funny that we are still fighting these caveman views of ourselves even in modern times, where might no longer makes right. To further the image, instead of attacking each other, we are competing with each other with who can best impress a woman with our manners, as if we're racing to pull out a chair for them or to help them cross the street. Now granted, these examples are also old-fashioned, but thankfully the modern versions are things like listening better and opening up and sharing our emotions. This is no longer seen as a weakness, but a strength, which means men are going to consistently try to prove to their prospective suitors that they have these qualities in spades. It is a reassuring example of how gender relations have progressed over the years (although certainly there is still a lot of work to do).

Peacocking is embedded fairly deep down in our genetics. Plenty of animals go to great lengths to find a mate, and male birds are particularly known for doing plenty of flashy and eye-catching gestures to woo their female counterparts. Whether this means the plumage of a peacock, the strange dances of the birds of paradise, or the gifts of smooth rocks between penguins, it's a much more peaceful version of 'trying to get the girl' when compared to mammals, who typically just fight each other for the right to breed.

Thankfully, humans have taken more cues from birds than rams, lions or walruses, and that means both sexes will go great lengths to make themselves that much more attractive to the other. While not wanting to lean too heavy on sexual stereotypes (like 'men pursue, while women play hard to get'), peacocking is mainly attributed to males because studies have shown that men are more likely to change their behaviour when there are a significant number of women present. The stereotype is that women will take a long time to get ready to go out to make sure they look stunning (their version of peacocking), and that men will try to do whatever they can to impress them (from how they dress, to how they speak, and, in the not-to-distant past, to how they fight).

While it is easy to scoff at style as being a superficial aspect of a person, because it's not nearly as important as being a good individual and having qualities such as kindness, humour, and patience, you can tell quite a lot about a person depending on their style of dress and presentation. Stylish people typically champion cleanliness over sloppiness (not just in their attire, but in their living space, and other aspect of their lives), decisiveness over uncertainty, and positivity over negativity.

Since these are qualities that other people are interested in when it comes to who they are attracted to, it's no wonder that people who 'clean up well' and look good in evening wear get a lot of attention from the opposite sex. And the good thing about style is that it's something that everyone can learn, as long as they just put some effort into it. In fact, it's easier than going to the gym (although that's also a good idea in terms of finding another way to present yourself in a better light), because it's a matter of doing some research about what kind of fashion trends are popular and then changing your wardrobe accordingly. That's not all, though, since there is something involved in 'acting stylish', which is practically the very act of peacocking itself.

Since the only real downside to peacocking is that the person behind it might not be as great as they initially seem to be when you first meet them (something that practically everyone does in many ways, as we've noted), it's not a surprise that it should be something that we should really strive for most of the time. If 'peacocking' really is the best version of yourself, shouldn't that be a permanent goal, not something you'd occasionally turn on and off like a switch? Sure it's great to relax and be a bit of a slob on your couch after a busy, tiring day, but the more often you try to be your very best in the outside world (and online, which is rapidly becoming just as essential as the ground beneath your feet), the more natural it will come to you.

You should never be suspicious if your date is 'peacocking', because of course they are, just like you. And if everyone is always working hard to present themselves in a better way, then society in general is the real winner. For the most pat, peacocking is just a form of self-improvement that is used to describe 'looking good on a date', but considering how many positives it contain, it can be a lot more.

'Peacocking' is always at the very starting tip of a relationship, but it is important to realize that it can't really go much further from there. All these behaviours are an attempt to get you (or whoever) to give a second glance at the person. Something to dangle in front of them that they are very curious about and just can't resist. It's a bit like a movie trailer, where you hope that they didn't just pack the best bits into those two minutes, and the rest of the film is lousy.

Sure, it's great that you've found someone that you're immediately smitten by because they look amazing, have a great laugh, and seem to say all the right things as you share your first round of drinks. You might have been had an amazing night at either yours or their place, but in the morning, the 'peacock' effect quickly turns itself off, and you are then going to meet a slight more realistic and honest version of this person. And of course they are in same situation, as they are about to meet that same version of you. In some ways, this is where the real relationship can begin, because now you'll actually a much more down to earth and straightforward conversation about what you're looking for. And even just the way you are both talking to each other now (and possibly prepare breakfast) will tell you a lot more if this person has the same views on a relationship that you do.

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