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How Important Is The Marriage Proposal To You?

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If you are with someone in a relationship and it is going more than two years, it could be time to ask for a marriage proposition, especially if you think that this is the man of your dreams. If your partner is already telling you that he is in love with you and wants to live with you for the rest of his life and he is not popping that big question, then you might have to take some steps to make sure he does that.

There might be several reasons why he is not doing right by you. However, it often is because he might not be as ready as you are. Women tend to be more ready to marry than men do. That is a fact. Most men want to wait until they are secure financially before asking a woman to marry them while women, for the most part, just want to get married and have children. It is best to understand those different dynamic first before having that conversation and sometimes, you have to compromise. You don't have to settle with years of sitting and waiting on a man to decide when he is ready, but you still doesn't want to pressure him.

There is nothing wrong with having a desire to be married. It is the next natural thing to do, if you want to unite as one with a partner. It is a way to give more of yourself. However, your desire does not have to be the same desire of the other person. You can sit down and have a serious discussion together to understand each other's desire and work from there. It is best to have an open mind and listen to each other without reacting emotionally. There might not be an immediate solution. You may have to wait a little longer and you should be open to that, if you really like this person. Getting married can be costly, depending on how the wedding is planned and some women are not willing to compromise and have a smaller wedding. So, there has to be a lot of negotiation, especially when the man has to find most of the funding for such a huge occasion.

Are Your Ready For The Engagement Ring?

To the women who did not get engaged as they were expecting, you have to realize that some men find it hard to make that commitment, if they are not ready. It is best not to get your hopes up too much or you will be highly disappointed. If you know for sure that he is the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you won't mind waiting as long as he will soon or has plants to 'put an engagement ring' on your finger as a way to tell the world that he plans to marry you.

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As long as he acknowledges you as his woman and his soul mate, then you should take that as a promise of commitment. If you are working to get something concrete from him, then you could pose the question to him about his plans for the relationship around the holidays. It could be the ideal winter marriage proposal that you have always been dreaming about. You could start by dropping little hints and see the response. If the holiday comes and goes without any solid response in your favor, then it is time to take it to the next level by having a gentle confrontation.

Are You Being Too Pushy?

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If you are a little hurt, angry and sad about not getting a response, then that is not the time to have a confrontation or it might not go well. Your emotions are natural because every girl will feel slighted, if after throwing hints around, nothing has stuck. You might even feel as if the relationship is going nowhere near marriage, even if that is not the case, but if you think too much about it, you may get frustrated. You might have to give it a break for a little while before asking for a commitment.

You don't want to seem too pushy or desperate though because what is meant to be for you both will be. After you have had a gentle confrontation, you will know how things are, the mindset and the focus or goals toward holy matrimony. If you are too forceful, it might be a turn off. If you remain desperate, it will seem as if it is all about you.

How Soon Will It Be?

OK, so now that you are having this gentle confrontation with him, it is your responsibility to let him know exactly how you feel about the whole situation. Go through your thought process to let him realize that you are only thinking about the future and in order to make plans for the future, you need to know his plans for the relationship. If he tells you that he wants to save up more money before making a full commitment, then you could negotiate an engagement ring to solidify the relationship and then tell him that you will wait on the date for the actual wedding as long as you have a ring on. If he tells you to wait for the engagement ring, you should challenge him to tell you when he thinks that would happen. If you cannot get a wedding date, you can at least, get an engagement date. Most guys are typically straight forward when it comes to letting a woman know where he stands. So don't read too much into anything that he says because he is going to tell you directly how he feels. Let him know that you don't want to be in limbo for more than an extra year and when that time comes, it is time for the ultimatum.

Are You Getting Answers?

The confrontation and conversation should involve questions about his personal needs and your needs. Don't settle for 'I don't know' answers. The conversation should be all about the next step to take. Once he shows that he is thinking of the future with you, then you can give him some slack. If he acts nonchalantly, then you might want to consider moving on. Let him tell you what he actually needs from you and then let him know what you need from him. If it matches up, then you can move on with the marriage conversation. If not, then you might have to think otherwise. If his needs seem reasonable to you, then you could give him another chance to prove that he thinks you are wife material. If he is not reasonable and you have to do most of the compromising, you have to think whether this is worth your time or not. If he wants you to change how you feel, then you are wading in murky waters. You have to be honest to yourself and do what is best to fulfill some of your personal needs. That is what compromising is all about. It shouldn't be one sided. If things cannot be worked out between you and both of you don't want to go your separate ways, then you could involve a third party; someone like a counselor to help you talk it through so you can better understand where each other is coming from. It would be the next best move to speak to a counselor or therapist as long as you both mutually agree to do so.

Are You Trying To Be Understanding Or Not?

There are several reasons for a man to wait before he pops the marriage question. Some men are literally afraid of commitment. You must understand this and be patient with him. Other men want to make sure that this is the right thing for them and so they often want to get to know you more. In addition, there are some men that have other reasons that have nothing to do with you. It could be a personal reason, but you do deserve some type of explanation. One of the reasons could be where the man thinks he has reached in his life and so it might not be about you. Maybe, he needs to feel as if he knows where he should go and what he should be doing. He might not want to second guess himself. For example, if he is not yet settled in a career, he might not want to make such a major move just yet. Most men want to feel like he can take care of a wife before making that kind of commitment. If you try to understand his side of the argument, then you might be able to better communicate with him so he can also understand your side of the story.

Do You Know Your Particular Role?

One of the ideal ways to make sure that your man is comfortable about being your boyfriend is to give him the benefits of a wife while he is not yet your husband. It is essential that as a single woman, you have a list of things that you will tolerate about a man, especially the fact that he wants to 'milk the cow' without owning the cow. It means that he might want to have sex, live with you and don't take on the husband's role. Find out from him what your particular role is in the relationship. Is this just a casual relationship? Is it something serious with expectations of a long term relationship? Is it open up to dating other people? Are you getting ready to become engaged or married? When you know what you have gotten yourself into, then you can know how to move forward. Both of you should have similar roles and matching levels of commitment.

Are You Living Together Already?

If you make the mistake of moving in together with the man of your dreams and he is not making a commitment of marrying you, it is going to cause problems between you. It is best not to live together, but if you already live together, then you have to assign a time to sit down and have a serious discussion. If he is already living with you, it is evident that he could marry you because you are both living as a couple anyway. If this is your thought process, then you are right. It is your job to relay this to him in the most respectful manner.

Could It Be He Has All Kinds Of Disillusions About Marriage?

Find out the truth of why he is not proposing because there could be some serious issues in his past or present. He may be reluctant because he might not believe that you have to get married when you can just live together. He might believe that the moment you get married, things will change. He also might have gone through a horrible childhood divorce where his parents fought all the time. He might see any value in being married as it is so easy to get a divorce anyway. He might think that treating you as a wife and having respect for your role in his life is enough. So, you need to see things from his perspective.

is He Counselor Friendly?

In the end, it is all about what you both mutually want to do with your relationship. If it is worth fighting for, then you should seek professional help with a relationship counselor. He will agree with this decision, if he really cares that much for you. If he refuses, then he might not be counselor friendly or think it serious enough to accept help. The next move is up to you! Decide how you want to spend the rest of your life - with or without him.

What To Do If He Doesn't Propose? - LocalMatches.com

Discover the exact steps you should take if your boyfriend or partner did not yet propose to you. You don't have to wait in limbo. You can make moves.

What To Do If He Doesn't Propose? - LocalMatches.com